Always Be My Maybe movie review and my self experience with Pa-fall
Advice Thursday, February 25, 2016
Actually I think this post would be more of my personal, about how the movie is so timely and relevant for me. You know when we are into facing something like heart break, we tend to think that something or some instances or anything we can relate is just really made for us that it is a sign or that God really knows what's happening to you that's why suddenly stumbled upon to this thing, people, event or even this movie "Always Be My Maybe."
I was honestly kinda hesitant or unsure if I should be witnessing this movie at this moment of my life, since after I first saw its trailer, I was like "Shocks! Seryoso, ngayon talaga sila magpapalabas ng ganitong movie?!!" I don't know if I'll take it as "nakakaasar o nakakatuwa" and I was also like "wow, so good of Star Cinema to dedicate a film for me lol." Maybe I think this is one of Star Cinema's secret, they release movies really at the right time, it seems they had this surveys of who are in this kind of situation like that haha.
So obviously I can relate to the film, I have been fresh to this so called "no-label, no commitment, flirtationship, pa-fall-ma-fall, friendzone" or what so ever relationship you can call it! It was so fresh that I am starting to move on and then this movie came, BOOM! haha! I know, you are judging me that I am OA, baduy, ok, I'll accept that because you'll never know how it feels unless you are the one in this situation, so pay attention! lol
I don't know if my friends are very supportive to me or bully for wanting to watch "Always Be My Maybe" with me, I think they'd just like to tease me whenever the scenes were relate-able to me or they wanna see me cry in the cinema and laugh at me hahah.
Since I am blogging also about entertainment, me and my blogger friends were in fact invited at the premiere night of "Always Be My Maybe" but for some conflict of our schedules we did not made it to attend. I told them "ok guys, I think it's a sign that I shouldn't be watching the film to prevent all the hurts and bitter memories to come back." But my blogger friend Bedalyn Aguas of "Dress up and Down" lol, no I mean from www.MamiAndFamily.blogspot.com, was too stubborn, so she wanted us to be watching the film on the opening day, but she cancelled it last minute and alibis she has another event to attend (Pa-fall at paasa din eh! haha), so I took it also as a sign not to watch the film. Then it was like before 4 pm, my cousin's boredom strikes and asked me to go to the mall and then we bonded and unexpectedly be able to watch "Always Be My Maybe." So finally my intro ends here because at this portion, Im sure you are asking "Nasaan na ang review ng movie!" haha.
Ok, the movie was ok, more than ok for me, Gerald's acting was fine and Arci Munoz was really good here! It seems ABS-CBN has its own Jennlylyn Mercado now, because Arci's acting was like how Jennylyn Mercado delivered her Rom-Com characters but really in fairness, Arci made the viewers laugh and she did made cry me also. Arci's character from "Passion De Amor" was far far different from her role in "Always Be My Maybe" that's why I can commend her shift from drama to comedy, she can do it both.
The movie was really a Rom-com, but if you are like me who can really relate to this kind of situation being portrayed in the movie, you will find yourself crying because you will be feeling what the characters really felt in the scenes or maybe you have said also the lines that they have thrown in the movie. It was like a black-drama for me, pajoke yung ibang lines pero tinatamaan yung puso ko hahah. That's why from now on I cannot judge anyone who will be crying or laughing at the cinemas, who am I to judge their feelings at that moment?
The movie was really like a reality check check for everyone, so you are lucky to watch this before it can happen to you! Unlike me that the damage has already been done, I want to share the movie's resemblance to what I've been through. Sorry if I'm gonna be needing to spoil some scenes here.
Ok, honestly this is my first article telling about my true gender, yes I'm homosexual and I want to share my self experience of being pinaasa or umaasa. I just want this to put on space, I just wanted to release this, maybe it will somehow help me to move on. If you're homophobic, you can just leave this page, if you're still reading this. Thank you. I want also to share the parts where can I relate in the movie, and how the scenes in the movie similar to what I have experienced. Sorry if it will be long, but I will try my best to summarize this chapter of my life.
Mid last year I've known this guy named "Jayson," online, we've been consistently chatting almost everyday, then skype-ing at 2 AM, for months we've been talking online and there I must say we have exchanged infos about ourselves, I know this is wrong but it really happens now, we got to know each other online, I guess. Then one day we finally had a chance to meet, because he bought this iPhone 6s (gray space) because he cannot wait to have the new iPhone 6s, but after buying it, he realized he really wanted a gold one, so he bought another iPhone (gold), now he sells his first iPhone (space gray) and then he offered it to me like almost half the price! By that time I was also thinking of having a new phone, and considering my first iPhone if ever. So when he offered me the iPhone 6S I was really got interested because that time, iPhone 6s was just released days ago only. But I did not grabbed it instantly, I said if next week that I'll be having my money and the phone is still available then maybe the phone really is destined for me. Everyday he is offering me that iPhone, and I keep saying that I'm still waiting for my money. Aside from selling that iPhone, he wants that chance for us to meet he said "bilhin mo na, para makapag meet na din tayo.." so I was like "yeah sige," but I still have to wait for my money. Then he's really pushing it, everyday he is messaging me about buying the phone and meeting me, he even wants me to come over to his place to sleepover when we are texting/chatting on my way home at during evening. It's Friday when I finally have my money to buy a phone, and I remember I came from an event, that after we decided to finally meet.
He called me on my phone when we are about to meet, and it is actually the first time I heard his voice. I mentioned earlier we did skype but since we are both shy with our voices, we are not speaking to each other when we are skype-ing, we are still chatting only when we skype, I remember we were like Aldub, that is dubsmash-ing hahah. We met at MOA, he fetched me there because I said I don't know how to get to his place in Dasma, Cavite. When we meet personally, of course we were that shy, we rode the UV express to cavite from MOA. Our first conversations were mostly about phones, he is tutoring me about the iPhone, since it will be my first iPhone. The iPhone that I was going to buy from him was actually at the pawn shop that time, that's why I need to go with him at Cavite. We are in a rush that time because the pawnshop's closing is around 6 pm. To be able to be in time, due to traffic, he decided for us to walk from the main road up to the pawnshop that I think it was a kilometer that we walked. I have this lootbag from an event that I came from that he offered to carry, since we had that lond walk. We made it just in time at the pawnshop and I got my iPhone from him. We still went to his house for the box and accessories of the iPhone. He is living of his own, he has no relatives or his family at his house. He said that the house is his aunt's, that he just want to live by himself, "kasi maingay daw kapag may kasama." I was like okay.. the house was big for him only, it has all the furnitures, complete appliances in the house, it is fully furnished, that's why I'm that surprise to find he is living alone, but he said that his mom visits him and his relatives are also in Cavite that he also visits weekly like that.
He asked me if I want to spend the night at his house, because it is also evening but not that late actually, and since that I am not familiar of the transport terminal there, and he is joking that I might get robbed, that my iPhone wouldn't made a 24 hrs with me. I said yes to him and I want to stay at his house. But it seemed that time he don't want me there, so many alibis that the house is not cleaned, its smelly and his dogs are noisy. He said that he know some hotels and inns to stay in Dasma, actually I refused that time, since I have payed him for the phone, I think I have not enough money anymore to check in, but he insisted that he will be taking charge of it. That day was also butterfly festival in Dasma that's why I really wanted to extend my stay there. The place is so festive that night, fireworks, street dancing, full of people, butterfly costumes. We walked all the night since it is traffic. And I forgot that time that the next day I had an early appointment, (Just like how Arci's character experienced in the movie) so we went to Waltermart to buy my clothes for my next day and we also had dinner there, went to gadget shops to buy case for my iPhone and screen protector. And we looked for available hotel or Inn, it took some time for us to find, since it is the Butterfly Festival that night, most are fully booked already. I was just relaxed that time, looking at him how he was busy calling numbers of hotel and inquiring. Finally we found available, as I can remember the Inn's name was "Quatro Pass," the hotel was fine, it has pool and the rooms are pretty ok. Then we have talked about many things, watched TV, watched movie, eat again, its past 12 midnight when we decided to sleep.. at nagkaroon ng tulug-tulugan scene.. I won't elaborate on this matter much, but yes technically we had a one night stand, but I will disclaim that we did not went all the way. In the movie "Always Be My Baby," it was mentioned that after sex, cuddling should not be done, or the one who cuddled first don't treat it as just a one night stand. Maybe its not true because after what did, he cuddled to me, held my hand tight with his two hands, we cuddled until morning, and until we checked out, we had breakfast and he accompanied me to the bus, because I have this early appointment that day. He treated me the whole night, the dinner, the hotel, etc., except for my clothes and my iphone case because I insisted it to be my expenses. It seemed that the cash I payed him for the phone was spent for me. That unexpected night, and all the instant happenings, I did not knew that I already fell for him.
We continued to bond, stayed as special friend, I think more than friends but less than a relationship, we used to text or chat sweet, we have dated several times, I have even brought him to events that I attended like we watched Sarah Geronimo's concert "From The Top," at Araneta, we were present at the "MMFF 2015 awards night" at Kia Theatre, we attended the premiere night of "Lumayo Ka Nga Sa Akin," with his friend, I remember that time he's with his friend and he's unsure to attend the premiere because he can't leave his friend, so I have no choice but to eat my pride and be brave to please my contact in viva to have a plus-two for the premiere night, I really don't bring anyone in the events that I am attending even if allowed, but when I met him, I did my very best almost every time to bring him as my plus one. we did even had a second staycation after watching "MMFF Awards Night" and almost had a third time. I often went to Dasma just to see him, we have been to many malls in the south, like SM Dasma, Robinsons Dasma, SM Southmall where we bought the Elecom headset that was my gift to him, Alabang Town Center, even in manila like SM Megamall, SM Lightmall. The last time I saw him was when we went at Nuvali, we had a facial there, we had a food trip and just walked and enjoy the view had some instax pics. I don't know but that time I felt already that it might be our last meeting..
I've had always tried to define our relationship (DTR just like in Always be my maybe) but his answers are always in consistent, sometimes he said we are just friends, he's not yet ready but he likes me too, "ok daw naman ako pero ayaw nya muna ng commitment, nag eenjoy pa daw sya maging single, pinipigilan daw nya yung feelings nya sakin, he is really ALWAYS BE MY MAYBE!" My friends, his friends even though that we are already a couple since we are always together, I flood my social media with our pics together, I have many pics also on his fb, so it doesn't really take a genius to know what we're into. I've always tried myself to be patient, to be just enjoying him, that the important thing is I will not lose him, But I discovered to myself that I can't be in that situation, and slowly his interest to me starts fading, lately I'm the one who's pursuing the things, I'm the one who's really after him, sometimes he ignores me, that's why I found myself asking, what happened? Is that it? "ganun na lang yun" He was like candle slowly melting... From his words before that he likes me, it became even more inconsistent and worse that he can only offer me friendship, na kahit hintayin ko daw sya o kahit sinong mag hintay hindi nya daw kayang makipag commit.. So ganun na lang yun? laro lang? How can we be friends after all? I tried to get over him and just move on, but I can't it seemed an unfinished business for me, I can't accept his inconsistent answers of why he can't commit with someone. Valentines has passed but still I can't move on, it seemed that I need an exact answer and finally he gave it to me...
When we met and did all of this craziness, I had this unfinished, unclosed dying relationship for years with someone, and he discovered it early. "He did said even to me that he has already a developing feelings for me and if ever we will be together, ayaw daw nya ng may gugulo sa amin," that's why I immediately ended my unfinished business, I know this sounds wrong, but my previous relationship was really about to end, nauna lang kami mag meet ni Jayson, and I admit it was really a mistake. This was what I have been holding on to in the very first, kasi after namin mag first meet at nag check in sa hotel, nalaman na nya kaagad to. That's why I decided to push everything this far, because he mentioned na may feelings din sya sakin. But I really don't what happened, I did everything I can, I sacrificed a lot, my friends, even my family and myself.. Only to know in the end that he's already committed to someone! That they are together now and happy! na binigyan daw sya ng second chance kasi nalaman daw yung about sa amin! (at naging kabit pa ko) I mean sana nung nalaman nya na may karelasyon ako before, sana sinabi nya na din kaagad that time na may karelasyon din sya!! Ang sakit! Sobrang sakit! With the pain that I felt, I told him na sana hindi na lang kita nakilala kasi ang sakit.. hulog na hulog ako eh, fall na fall ako eh.. That time I realized everything na kaya pala.. my questions have been answered.. naiintindihan ko na, malinaw na malinaw.. I just looked at the good side, atleast I'm freed by the truth and finally can move on..
I messaged him bitterness, but I messaged him again after I have thought, that I forgive him, I forgive myself, that I want them to be happy and sorry for to his partner for what happened, and thanked him for the memories we created for a short period of time.
I know magulo akong magkwento, at magulo lang talaga ang situation, I know some of you are judging me, and tanga tanga ko, naughty, sige lang.. but you really can't tell how it feels until you are in this kind of situation. Ang daming first na nangyari, it was my first one night stand, first time kong umaasa ng ganito. Wala eh, ako yung tao na mabilis maattach sa mga bagay, sa tao pa kaya.
I wanna cite Arci's character in the movie that made me cried when she says:
"Technically hindi ko sya ex,"
"Na ang saya saya nyo,"
"Ang mali ko nga lang, ako lang pala yung nasa relationship"
Sorry for the spoiler but this is not her exact line. This line of her made me cry. Also gerald's character line:
"Gusto mo bang maging tayo?, Kasi ako gusto ko"
Sorry again for the spoiler. This really hit me so much. That's why I really commend the film, I think its really for me, sobrang relate ako. and when watching the ending, I feel like "Sana sa totoong buhay ko pwede din yung ganito, yung parehas kayong mafall sa isa't isa."
Now, I am moving on and maybe for now I just wanna love myself more, I wanna make it up to myself and just celebrate life. Yes I've been hurt but I guess that's life, there are ups and downs, maybe there are just people we should meet for reasons, to teach us, let's just trust God and be positive always, that something good is coming our way. Let's not be hard on ourselves, learn to forgive and just let go. If you have read this far, thank you! I hope somehow my self experience brought you lessons in love and life that you can apply to yourselves. Wag tayong susuko sa buhay no matter what! Aja! Fighting! God Bless us all.
